There is a monster at the end of this blog post, so if you stop reading now, you won’t have to see it or get exposed to the monster’s mighty menacing manner.
Instead, take a look at this information on marketing content – which we think is one of the most important tools in your box. Content is far less scarier than a monster, right?
Hey, you’re still reading. I thought I made myself clear when I typed that there’s a monster at the end of this blog post. There is. Really. So, stop reading this instant and visit this nugget of wisdom about email marketing. Doesn’t that sound more pleasant than encountering a monster?
Oh, good. Wait, you’re here. Reading on. Getting closer to the end of the blog post where the monster is. Uh oh. OK, well, maybe content and email aren’t your cup of tea at the moment, but look at this, a link to some knowledge on improving your social media channels. That’s bright and shiny and distracting enough to get you away from this blog post!
Finally, I can get some rest, but wait, you haven’t ceased reading this post. You do know what a monster is, right? There’s one at the end of this blog post! A big, ol’, nasty monster just patiently waiting for you to read on and find it. Let’s spoil that monster’s plan by having you take a look at this piece on marketing design and how it is used to guide your customer’s pathway to sales.
Boy, for a second there … Hey! Why. Are. You. Still. Reading?!? I guess my distractions haven’t worked yet. OK, how about this one. Analytics, that’s a fun, sexy subject, eh? Get some hot, wet analytics action right here at this link, thus avoiding the monster at the end of this blog post.
Good, finally you’ve stopped reading. But, wait, you haven’t stopped. You must be masochistic wanting to meet a monster at the end of this blog post. Fine, go right ahead, crazy pants.
Wait a minute, we’ve gotten to the end of this blog post, and I just realized, the monster at the end of this blog post is ME! I’ve been sending you to a page just FULL of marketing monsters!
I’m such a monster … but, I’m one of the good ones! This page may be packed with marketing monsters, but it’s also chock full of ways to conquer those marketing monsters. See, I told you I was one of the good ones. I’m sure glad you made it to the end of this blog post to find out.
Editor’s note: This post was a parody of the classic children’s tome, “The Monster at the End of This Book,” which starred “Sesame Street’s” loveable, old Grover (who is, in fact, the monster at the end of that book).